He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
