the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
