I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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