so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
