That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
