he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
only you would photoshop your dick
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think my nap took me to another dimension
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
