swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
im on a boat
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