I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
