This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
We smell like vodka and hangover
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