I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
