Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
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I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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