I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
