It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
