Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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