Please don't use social media to get back at me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
