Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
