Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
