this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
