she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
