Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize