Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
