Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize