Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
