dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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