Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
