4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
