i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
