I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
