If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize