Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize