Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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