What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
