WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
