is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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