it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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