I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
