Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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