She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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