Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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