You're my little dorito
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
