you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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