didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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