I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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