I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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