smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
