Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
