you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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