I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
