i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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