just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
