I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
