their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
