I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
