Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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