call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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