Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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