There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
