it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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