omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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