I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
someone owes me an orgasm
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
