apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
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josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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