My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
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YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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