Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
