I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
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I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
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You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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