His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize