and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
