Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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