I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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