i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
