I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
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just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
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Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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