So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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